I've had a lot on my mind lately about how things are changing in my world. There are certain things that change because that is the way of the world. For example: my boys going out and about into the world. We have 2 boys and they are out there figuring things out. They are learning first hand how this world works. They are ages 26 and 21, which means they are at different stages in their life lessons. In my mind all I ever hoped for is that I raised good, kind people. People that have a solid sense of what is right and wrong. It is important to me that they are nice people with a firm grip on who they are. Someone who will stick up for the underdog, even if the underdog is themselves. It also must be important to them to be productive members of society: have a job so you can take care of yourself and an understanding of giving back to the world. The whole "play it forward" thing even if you don't have anything to play forward, just get the ball started. The "one person can make a difference" attitude. Oh yea, be respectful to your elders and be nice (if you can). My boys are not perfect but these are the life rules I came up with to raise them.
These changes don't puzzle me. They are the way things are. The way they should be. I am happy for my boys and proud of the them but sad for me because I miss them. What is puzzling me is when people change right before your very eyes. I know relationships evolve and are in constant motion. I fully understand that nothing stays the same. But the core of a relationship, the guts of it. The whole reason you and this person have a bond...that unexplainable through thick and thin bond. FYI I'm not talking about romantic stuff but maybe this pertains to that too. I'm talking about friendships. That one person who you thought would always have your back. Always take your side seems to have dumped you (for the lack of a more poetic word). I have friends that I don't see as often as I would like due to life getting in the way but when push comes to shove we are there for each other. I am that drop everything and be there for you kind of family and friend. You can count on me always. Even it I don't like you very much and you were in desperate need, I'll help you.
It's like you are walking around in the world confident that the sidewalk below is solid with the people that are there for you. All of a sudden out of the blue WHAM there is a hole where that persons support once was. You look down and think "What in the world? That's odd. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe they are going through a tough time. I'll give them some space." But then it becomes very clear that you are no longer welcome. You are welcome when there are bad times but when the joy is there they keep it to themselves. It's like LOTR (Lord of The Ring). You are welcome to help find the ring but once it's found you can't even look at the darn thing. It's all "Thanks a lot bye...don't let the screen door hit you on the way out". Your left standing there wondering why your ass is sore.
Which brings me to my big question. I try to see the best in people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I am proven otherwise. We only tend to see what we want to see about people we love. Straight from wiktionary. Rose Colored Glasses: "An optimistic perception of something; a positive opinion; seeing something in a positive way, often thinking of it as better than it actually is."
Maybe it's time for me to get a new pair of glasses?
