The trouble with naps is
There is no trouble with naps
The short and the long
are glorious, delicious companions
on sleepy, snowy days.
The trouble with naps is
There is no trouble with naps
Except when cats named Katie
Think they are the boss
Of the nap
Then the trouble with naps
begins.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Who would have thunk it?
First of all, I of course had to look up the word "thunk" only to find I'm pretty sure I've been using the word wrong. Here is what Wikipedia said:
Thunk may refer to:
Thunk (functional programming), a piece of code to perform a delayed computation
Thunk (object-oriented programming): a feature of some virtual function table implementations
Thunk (compatibility mapping), a mapping of machine data from one system-specific form to another
A measure of time, used on Digital Equipment Corporation computers, measuring the number of clock ticks since the founding of the Smithsonian Institution
The underside of a Battleship
WOW!! Who knew "thunk" was such a technical word? Well I didn't!!! How about you? I use the word in the redneck way it was intended to be used.
Anyways, it's been a whole year since our trip to Europe! Hard to believe. It seems like a lifetime ago yet when I close my eyes I can put myself right back on our ship on the Rhine River. The memory of the sounds, sights and smells of the European countryside can and does bring tears to my eyes.
You see, we were raised without much. I guess that made us poor but I didn't know the difference. I seriously thought most people lived without indoor plumbing and only had wood for heat. I can garden, can food and cut up most animals and fish for supper. I thought everyone knew how to do that. I also know that you never take a deep breath when gutting out an animal or cleaning a chicken. I learned that the hard way....barf! I have these skills because this was how we survived. We had chickens, ducks, geese, and pigs. My family hunted and people would bring us their road kill on occasion because they knew we would appreciate the venison. (That's a story for another day) We didn't starve but at mealtime we were allowed one pork chop, one scoop of potatoes, one scoop of vegetables, one piece of bread and one glass of milk. Never ever were we allowed to have milk in-between meals. There wouldn't be enough for mealtime. If we were thirsty, there was the coldest, best tasting well water you ever had. Kool aid was a huge treat!!!! And soda, that was even a bigger treat. Juice? That was fancy stuff. I also knew that there were people worse off than us who didn't even have a glass of milk at anytime. I am not complaining...just explaining.
I tell you all of this to tell you that going anywhere on an airplane was a pie in the sky dream. In my youth I thought I would only experience traveling through books and movies. Only in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would travel outside Wisconsin except to drive to Nebraska to see my grandparents. My first flight was to Florida for our honeymoon in 1981 to see The Mouse!!! aka Mickey Mouse.
We flew into Amsterdam and boarded a ship and cruised the Rhine River to The Danube River and flew out of Vienna with many stops along the way. This takes 2 weeks. I literally stood on the front of that ship much like Leonardo Dicaprio did in Titanic, only I didn't have my arms out and didn't yell "I'm king of the world". I just stood there in silent wonder. Here I was shy little Kathy Swartwout on a ship in the middle of Europe floating on waters where Kings once floated. I touched a doorknob the Hitler touched. Stood where Napoleon stood. I walked on cobblestones that carried happy feet and beaten and bloody feet. I can barely wrap my head around it now. But sometimes, like right now I can put myself back on that ship or holding that doorknob or walking where Anne Frank walked.
It was the trip of a lifetime. I tell you the story of how I grew up so I hope you understand how grateful I am to have had the experience. But, the important thing I learned on this trip was (at the risk of sounding like Dorothy) the world is an amazing place full of amazing people but none so amazing as the ground I walk everyday and the people I am fortunate enough to in my life, in my little corner of the world. And this my friends makes for very happy feet!
Me in a winery that is hundreds of years old.
The view from our room window one foggy fall morning.
A castle on that same foggy morning.
A cat in Melk. My travels always involving meeting a cat or two along the way.
The "real" Budweiser brewed in the Budvar Brewery in České Budějovice. In case you didn't know you were NOT drinking the real thing.
And me stuffing my face with a German pastry! Yes I ate the whole thing and it was yummy!!!!
Thunk may refer to:
Thunk (functional programming), a piece of code to perform a delayed computation
Thunk (object-oriented programming): a feature of some virtual function table implementations
Thunk (compatibility mapping), a mapping of machine data from one system-specific form to another
A measure of time, used on Digital Equipment Corporation computers, measuring the number of clock ticks since the founding of the Smithsonian Institution
The underside of a Battleship
WOW!! Who knew "thunk" was such a technical word? Well I didn't!!! How about you? I use the word in the redneck way it was intended to be used.
Anyways, it's been a whole year since our trip to Europe! Hard to believe. It seems like a lifetime ago yet when I close my eyes I can put myself right back on our ship on the Rhine River. The memory of the sounds, sights and smells of the European countryside can and does bring tears to my eyes.
You see, we were raised without much. I guess that made us poor but I didn't know the difference. I seriously thought most people lived without indoor plumbing and only had wood for heat. I can garden, can food and cut up most animals and fish for supper. I thought everyone knew how to do that. I also know that you never take a deep breath when gutting out an animal or cleaning a chicken. I learned that the hard way....barf! I have these skills because this was how we survived. We had chickens, ducks, geese, and pigs. My family hunted and people would bring us their road kill on occasion because they knew we would appreciate the venison. (That's a story for another day) We didn't starve but at mealtime we were allowed one pork chop, one scoop of potatoes, one scoop of vegetables, one piece of bread and one glass of milk. Never ever were we allowed to have milk in-between meals. There wouldn't be enough for mealtime. If we were thirsty, there was the coldest, best tasting well water you ever had. Kool aid was a huge treat!!!! And soda, that was even a bigger treat. Juice? That was fancy stuff. I also knew that there were people worse off than us who didn't even have a glass of milk at anytime. I am not complaining...just explaining.
I tell you all of this to tell you that going anywhere on an airplane was a pie in the sky dream. In my youth I thought I would only experience traveling through books and movies. Only in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would travel outside Wisconsin except to drive to Nebraska to see my grandparents. My first flight was to Florida for our honeymoon in 1981 to see The Mouse!!! aka Mickey Mouse.
We flew into Amsterdam and boarded a ship and cruised the Rhine River to The Danube River and flew out of Vienna with many stops along the way. This takes 2 weeks. I literally stood on the front of that ship much like Leonardo Dicaprio did in Titanic, only I didn't have my arms out and didn't yell "I'm king of the world". I just stood there in silent wonder. Here I was shy little Kathy Swartwout on a ship in the middle of Europe floating on waters where Kings once floated. I touched a doorknob the Hitler touched. Stood where Napoleon stood. I walked on cobblestones that carried happy feet and beaten and bloody feet. I can barely wrap my head around it now. But sometimes, like right now I can put myself back on that ship or holding that doorknob or walking where Anne Frank walked.
It was the trip of a lifetime. I tell you the story of how I grew up so I hope you understand how grateful I am to have had the experience. But, the important thing I learned on this trip was (at the risk of sounding like Dorothy) the world is an amazing place full of amazing people but none so amazing as the ground I walk everyday and the people I am fortunate enough to in my life, in my little corner of the world. And this my friends makes for very happy feet!
A castle on that same foggy morning.
The "real" Budweiser brewed in the Budvar Brewery in České Budějovice. In case you didn't know you were NOT drinking the real thing.
Friday, July 8, 2011
The more things change...
I've had a lot on my mind lately about how things are changing in my world. There are certain things that change because that is the way of the world. For example: my boys going out and about into the world. We have 2 boys and they are out there figuring things out. They are learning first hand how this world works. They are ages 26 and 21, which means they are at different stages in their life lessons. In my mind all I ever hoped for is that I raised good, kind people. People that have a solid sense of what is right and wrong. It is important to me that they are nice people with a firm grip on who they are. Someone who will stick up for the underdog, even if the underdog is themselves. It also must be important to them to be productive members of society: have a job so you can take care of yourself and an understanding of giving back to the world. The whole "play it forward" thing even if you don't have anything to play forward, just get the ball started. The "one person can make a difference" attitude. Oh yea, be respectful to your elders and be nice (if you can). My boys are not perfect but these are the life rules I came up with to raise them.
These changes don't puzzle me. They are the way things are. The way they should be. I am happy for my boys and proud of the them but sad for me because I miss them. What is puzzling me is when people change right before your very eyes. I know relationships evolve and are in constant motion. I fully understand that nothing stays the same. But the core of a relationship, the guts of it. The whole reason you and this person have a bond...that unexplainable through thick and thin bond. FYI I'm not talking about romantic stuff but maybe this pertains to that too. I'm talking about friendships. That one person who you thought would always have your back. Always take your side seems to have dumped you (for the lack of a more poetic word). I have friends that I don't see as often as I would like due to life getting in the way but when push comes to shove we are there for each other. I am that drop everything and be there for you kind of family and friend. You can count on me always. Even it I don't like you very much and you were in desperate need, I'll help you.
It's like you are walking around in the world confident that the sidewalk below is solid with the people that are there for you. All of a sudden out of the blue WHAM there is a hole where that persons support once was. You look down and think "What in the world? That's odd. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe they are going through a tough time. I'll give them some space." But then it becomes very clear that you are no longer welcome. You are welcome when there are bad times but when the joy is there they keep it to themselves. It's like LOTR (Lord of The Ring). You are welcome to help find the ring but once it's found you can't even look at the darn thing. It's all "Thanks a lot bye...don't let the screen door hit you on the way out". Your left standing there wondering why your ass is sore.
Which brings me to my big question. I try to see the best in people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I am proven otherwise. We only tend to see what we want to see about people we love. Straight from wiktionary. Rose Colored Glasses: "An optimistic perception of something; a positive opinion; seeing something in a positive way, often thinking of it as better than it actually is."
Maybe it's time for me to get a new pair of glasses?
These changes don't puzzle me. They are the way things are. The way they should be. I am happy for my boys and proud of the them but sad for me because I miss them. What is puzzling me is when people change right before your very eyes. I know relationships evolve and are in constant motion. I fully understand that nothing stays the same. But the core of a relationship, the guts of it. The whole reason you and this person have a bond...that unexplainable through thick and thin bond. FYI I'm not talking about romantic stuff but maybe this pertains to that too. I'm talking about friendships. That one person who you thought would always have your back. Always take your side seems to have dumped you (for the lack of a more poetic word). I have friends that I don't see as often as I would like due to life getting in the way but when push comes to shove we are there for each other. I am that drop everything and be there for you kind of family and friend. You can count on me always. Even it I don't like you very much and you were in desperate need, I'll help you.
It's like you are walking around in the world confident that the sidewalk below is solid with the people that are there for you. All of a sudden out of the blue WHAM there is a hole where that persons support once was. You look down and think "What in the world? That's odd. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe they are going through a tough time. I'll give them some space." But then it becomes very clear that you are no longer welcome. You are welcome when there are bad times but when the joy is there they keep it to themselves. It's like LOTR (Lord of The Ring). You are welcome to help find the ring but once it's found you can't even look at the darn thing. It's all "Thanks a lot bye...don't let the screen door hit you on the way out". Your left standing there wondering why your ass is sore.
Which brings me to my big question. I try to see the best in people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I am proven otherwise. We only tend to see what we want to see about people we love. Straight from wiktionary. Rose Colored Glasses: "An optimistic perception of something; a positive opinion; seeing something in a positive way, often thinking of it as better than it actually is."
Maybe it's time for me to get a new pair of glasses?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Lunch and Learn?
Today I learned to use a bolt cutter. The septic tank at the cottage needed pumping and it has chains and a padlock and no key. I guess the former owners didn't leave one. I cut the chain with not to much problem at all. I thought piece of cake. That exercise class I took this morning is paying off. I'm already developing muscles...hahaha. I find out cutting the chain is the easy part. Opening the chain takes real muscles, not the 1 hour ones I now have. I'm struggling and struggling. It then dawns on me...there is a big strong guy coming in a few minutes that will make this look like he's bending a twig. So I wait and sure enough...it bends like a green twig.
I also learned to watch the steps down to the water for pine snakes that are sunning themselves...yikes screams sure can echo. Most importantly I've learned that they have a nice selection of Central Waters Beer at The Millstone of Iola Mills. I have treated myself to a Honey Blonde and grilled cheese and veggie sandwich right in the middle of the day since I worked so hard on that chain.
Most importantly I learn I have 2 official followers!! Woot and thanks sooooo much.
I also learned to watch the steps down to the water for pine snakes that are sunning themselves...yikes screams sure can echo. Most importantly I've learned that they have a nice selection of Central Waters Beer at The Millstone of Iola Mills. I have treated myself to a Honey Blonde and grilled cheese and veggie sandwich right in the middle of the day since I worked so hard on that chain.
Most importantly I learn I have 2 official followers!! Woot and thanks sooooo much.
Monday, June 13, 2011
STOMP, STOMP, STOMP - Part 2
Ok, so now you have a bit of history as to why I get a bit alarmed when a piece of equipment is started up outside. Whether my husband is mowing, weed whacking or getting out the heavy shears...something is going to happen. He also has no regard to open windows while mowing. By the time I realize he is mowing, dust has blown through at least one entire side of the house. It is a virtual dust storm outside and now in my house. I've tried and tried to get him to understand the mess it all makes but again he is the honey badger.
The asparagus patch is about 10 feet by 20 feet and is right in the middle of the yard. You can't miss it. We have owned this little slice of heaven since 1993 and over the years my husband has gotten closer and closer and closer to the patch while mowing. This particular spring day I come out of the bathroom to the sounds of mowing and think "Oh, he's mowing. That's good. It will keep him busy for about 2 hours.". While I hum a little song in my head, the alarm goes off...oh crap he's mowing run for the windows. Too late!!! Dust is everywhere in the kitchen, dining area and laundry room. Nice. As I rush to close the windows, although why I do this I do not know because the dust is already on everything, I notice him on the John Deere tractor mowing dangerously close to the asparagus patch. I had just harvested the 1st crop a few days ago and was anxiously waiting for the second crop.
I wait until he is well away from the asparagus because I can't always count on him seeing me. He stays more focused than me. I am the perfect example of "I think I have adult ADD....oh look a chicken, or a shiny, or whatever. When the coast is clear I casually walk over to the asparagus to discover to my horror that it has finally happened! My husband has mowed a 3 foot strip of asparagus. I am wondering "Does he have no clue or is he going to wait until I discover it to fess up?". I STOMP, STOMP, STOMP over to my husband and wave him down. His face tells exactly what he doesn't want to admit he is thinking "What can be so important that you had to interrupt me?". As calmly and slowly as I can muster (hey no spell check on that word) I say "Honey, you just mowed over a large patch of asparagus.". He says and not so calmly I might add "I DID NOT! I wouldn't do that! It spreads you know!! Don't you think I would know if I ran over the asparagus?". (Apparently not dear!) He is not calm because he has had to stop the mower to hear me. I'm thinking to myself "Why would I make this up? Does he think I'm lying? Why would I make this up?". What I say is "Come on, let's take a look.", because it makes no sense to argue about it right now.
So, we both STOMP, STOMP, STOMP over to the patch and the evidence is right there!! There sure is nothing like being told you are wrong when your are absolutely sure you are right and the evidence is staring you both in the face. I say "Look!". He says "Oh." and walks away to continue mowing. I'm just standing there very puzzled. I then spend the next few minutes gathering up tonight's side dish from the lawn. (It was lightly brushed with rosemary olive oil, grilled and very tasty.) Beautiful, perfect stalks of asparagus are have been thrown everywhere. It would have been kinda funny it I wasn't so darn mad. More stomping as a look around the yard for anything mark the obvious. The asparagus patch is now adorned with every tall lawn ornament I own. To which my husband says "So, ya marked it huh?".
The asparagus patch is about 10 feet by 20 feet and is right in the middle of the yard. You can't miss it. We have owned this little slice of heaven since 1993 and over the years my husband has gotten closer and closer and closer to the patch while mowing. This particular spring day I come out of the bathroom to the sounds of mowing and think "Oh, he's mowing. That's good. It will keep him busy for about 2 hours.". While I hum a little song in my head, the alarm goes off...oh crap he's mowing run for the windows. Too late!!! Dust is everywhere in the kitchen, dining area and laundry room. Nice. As I rush to close the windows, although why I do this I do not know because the dust is already on everything, I notice him on the John Deere tractor mowing dangerously close to the asparagus patch. I had just harvested the 1st crop a few days ago and was anxiously waiting for the second crop.
I wait until he is well away from the asparagus because I can't always count on him seeing me. He stays more focused than me. I am the perfect example of "I think I have adult ADD....oh look a chicken, or a shiny, or whatever. When the coast is clear I casually walk over to the asparagus to discover to my horror that it has finally happened! My husband has mowed a 3 foot strip of asparagus. I am wondering "Does he have no clue or is he going to wait until I discover it to fess up?". I STOMP, STOMP, STOMP over to my husband and wave him down. His face tells exactly what he doesn't want to admit he is thinking "What can be so important that you had to interrupt me?". As calmly and slowly as I can muster (hey no spell check on that word) I say "Honey, you just mowed over a large patch of asparagus.". He says and not so calmly I might add "I DID NOT! I wouldn't do that! It spreads you know!! Don't you think I would know if I ran over the asparagus?". (Apparently not dear!) He is not calm because he has had to stop the mower to hear me. I'm thinking to myself "Why would I make this up? Does he think I'm lying? Why would I make this up?". What I say is "Come on, let's take a look.", because it makes no sense to argue about it right now.
So, we both STOMP, STOMP, STOMP over to the patch and the evidence is right there!! There sure is nothing like being told you are wrong when your are absolutely sure you are right and the evidence is staring you both in the face. I say "Look!". He says "Oh." and walks away to continue mowing. I'm just standing there very puzzled. I then spend the next few minutes gathering up tonight's side dish from the lawn. (It was lightly brushed with rosemary olive oil, grilled and very tasty.) Beautiful, perfect stalks of asparagus are have been thrown everywhere. It would have been kinda funny it I wasn't so darn mad. More stomping as a look around the yard for anything mark the obvious. The asparagus patch is now adorned with every tall lawn ornament I own. To which my husband says "So, ya marked it huh?".
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Stomp, stomp, stomp
A few weeks ago there was an asparagus incident involving my loving husband. I've had a request for the story so here goes.
The asparagus patch is the holy grail around here and the source of many awesome meals from breakfast all the way to dinner. It came with the place and is the envy of most visitors. It takes years to get a small harvest and about a decade for a true crop. I had nothing do with it but it is one of my pride and joys. My husband would like nothing better than to mow it down the second it is done producing. I love how the morning dew gathers on the feathery branches and how the first frost of the fall sparkles in the morning sunshine not to mention how beautiful it looks before and after a snowstorm. For me it is breathtaking. According to him "It looks like hell". He will mow and whack anything I let him near or don't let him near for that matter. He actually just whacks at things when I'm gone risking my wrath when I return... it's doesn't stop him. He tries to weed the flower garden. You wonder why I have a problem with that? Why I tend to sound soooo ungrateful because I have a husband that actually helps with the flower beds? Well, the only time I agreed to him weeding the perennial bed I regretted it so much. What was I thinking? The man doesn't know a daisy seedling from a milk weed and could care less. Let's just say it's taken over 4 years to replant the perennial bed and to have it return to it's pre-husband weeding attack glory. Most of the time he means well but some of the time he's just like the honey badger...he doesn't give a shit.
The asparagus patch is the holy grail around here and the source of many awesome meals from breakfast all the way to dinner. It came with the place and is the envy of most visitors. It takes years to get a small harvest and about a decade for a true crop. I had nothing do with it but it is one of my pride and joys. My husband would like nothing better than to mow it down the second it is done producing. I love how the morning dew gathers on the feathery branches and how the first frost of the fall sparkles in the morning sunshine not to mention how beautiful it looks before and after a snowstorm. For me it is breathtaking. According to him "It looks like hell". He will mow and whack anything I let him near or don't let him near for that matter. He actually just whacks at things when I'm gone risking my wrath when I return... it's doesn't stop him. He tries to weed the flower garden. You wonder why I have a problem with that? Why I tend to sound soooo ungrateful because I have a husband that actually helps with the flower beds? Well, the only time I agreed to him weeding the perennial bed I regretted it so much. What was I thinking? The man doesn't know a daisy seedling from a milk weed and could care less. Let's just say it's taken over 4 years to replant the perennial bed and to have it return to it's pre-husband weeding attack glory. Most of the time he means well but some of the time he's just like the honey badger...he doesn't give a shit.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Of course you know...this means war!!! aka that jerk raccoon
So the Jerk is napping on the cage on the highest shelf in the garage. Sitting below is my shiny red Mustang convertible just waiting for the jerk to spaz out and fall on to the hood cage and all. Wonderful, that will be my fault too. I try talking to him a bit to reason with him but I guess he didn't like my attitude. I get a phone call and the caller identifies himself as "Dougie from Dougie's Raccoon Extermination". It is our shop foreman and our friend with some friendly advise regarding The Jerk. Shoot him. Well, I can't do that for 2 reasons. 1) I'm not a bad shot but I've never shot another living thing in my life. Not to say that if push came to shove I would grow a pair and shoot. 2) The Jerk is in the garage where a bullet can ricochet (yup looked that word up too). "Well here's what ya do" says Dougie. "Close up that there garage door and start up that Mustang and walk away for 30 minutes. That'll fix him!!" I ask Dougie if my husband knows what advise he just gave me and he says "Ya he's sitting right here." Great, I'm on speaker phone...lovely. I tell Dougie he is brilliant and hang up the phone. Out I stomp to the garage in my moose with a martini lounge pants and look The Jerk right in the eye, just like he did when he hissed at me and said "Ok you, you have until 8:00 am to get the heck outta here or else. Do you hear me you Jerk or else?"
So I decide to update my status on facebook and add a few pictures of my morning adventure when I hear a crash. I look at my watch and it's 7:45 am. Who says the animals don't understand what I'm saying to them? Oh yea, my husband that's who. I run to the garage door and sure enough The Jerk is off the shelf via the laundry basket that holds my gardening supplies. He's not sure how to get off my vehicle but he is moving fast for a raccoon because he knows the clock is ticking. The last I saw of him he was trying to figure out how to get out from under my vehicle and hopefully he is long gone. YIPPEE
Post script: I am giving Gracie fresh water and I notice the water in the dish is all dark and kinda thick...oh no...is that more poop? I take the bowl to the swamp dump it while holding my breath and sure enough more poop!!! Why in the world would he take a crap in the water dish? I know why...just to piss me off!! He knows exactly what he's doing. Hence the title of part 2 "Of course you know...the means war!!!
Guess what? Today is Sunday. Two days out from the latest raccoon "adventure". My husband just informed that little bastard aka The Jerk pooped on the windshield wipers of my Suburban! What is up with that?
Sorry for the picture quality but it shows The Jerk right after his free fall from the shelf in my basket!
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